Learning Together. The Good Times.
Sometimes my hubby and I just completely on the same page- you know what I mean right? There are no lurking arguments, hurt feelings, or grumpy attitudes. Inside jokes abound, I can't get enough of holding his hand, and we consistently slip into an incredibly comfortable knowing silence. It truly is perfection- nothing could make me happier in those moments.We have a few years under our belts now as a married couple- so I've noticed that these perfect time periods come and go. They're not a permanent state of being (which is also true for the moments when we feel a little out of step from each other). A relaxed middle ground is our usual resting place- content and happy, but not quite to the level of just pure perfection. ;)I used to feel horribly insecure when those 'perfection' moments would fade away a little bit- the weekend would end, the vacation would be over (the perfect times always seem to be on the weekend and during vacations don't they?)... and we would be back to work and normal. I had this idea in my head that those moments should be all the time- that a happy marriage must be perfect moments all the time.That's not really how it works... and honestly I think living at the perfect state would be exhausting after a while and we would expect new highs and levels of happiness beyond what we were experiencing. Learning how to embrace those perfect moments and not worry about when they would end have made the calm moments feel all the more beautiful to me now as well.
be fully and utterly in the moment
The most actionable and specific of the little lessons I've learned. Put down the phone... except for the occasional photo. Don't worry about posting the photos to instagram until later. Take the photo- and then move your attention right back to you and your partner. You'll love having the photos later- but you'll also appreciate the undistracted memories you gathered by not staring all day at your phone.
don't worry about the 'fallout'
The ups and downs of marriage are completely natural- just like in every relationship. There are times when you want to punch them in the face, there are times when their words sting a little too much, and then there are the times when you are just content and calm. Those moments are all part of living with another human being- they don't make you a bad spouse and they shouldn't detract from the perfect moments. They do make the content moments feel more calm and the perfect moments seem sweeter though. If your interrupt your perfect moments with worries about that lower moment- you'll only loose pieces of the happy moments.
look for perfect wherever you can
You don't have to be on vacation or hitting up the coolest restaurant in town to feel perfectly happy. Do you feel completely and utterly at peace when you're both curled up on the couch watching a movie or episode you've seen a million times? Does a mundane and simple grocery store trip make you feel like a team? Lean into that contentment and tell them how much you love the moment you're in. The mundane moments are our everyday moments- they happen all the time and when you start to see those little tiny nuggets of perfect you start to appreciate them.